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My last post was in October and indicated that due to work pressures I would post only once a week. Well obviously that did not happen. Part of the abscence has been due to work conflicts; however, the actual reason for the lack of activity has been due to not being happy with the direction of my blog content. I began to feel the content was becoming contrived and somewhat preachy.

Therefore, sometime in the near future I will overhaul the simplephilosophy site to focus exclusively on how to effect a positive change in your lifestyle and your life. The posts will draw from my personal journey over the past 9 months losing over 50 pounds through a significant change in my own personal habits and lifestyle. I will also draw from books I am reading that deal with cultural boundaries to personal change, developing the slight edge that will move you forward in life, and other related resources. My belief is if I am excited and happy with the content of the site, then I will be able to offer information that will truly impact others in a positive way. My true desire has always been to offer quality content that others will find beneficial in being successful in all aspects of life.

Watch for the changes and see you soon! Remember prior actions determine future options! Make today’s actions count so you can live the life you want tomorrow.

Steve

The past 10 days have been very hectic. I took both Gregg and Glenn back to school (a week apart) and sandwiched in between was a business trip to Denver. In fact my last post was written on the plane on the 11th, but posted about 2 am on the 12th when I finally got to my hotel room. Needless to say, with getting the kids ready to move, trying to tie up loose ends and then busy days in meetings, the “Perfect Day Schedule” went right out the window. Along with it was the time to keep up with the blog.

What has been on my mind the past 10 days is what a huge role our environment plays in a person’s ability to navigate life and possess positive self-esteem.

My sons were raised in an upper middle class family with college-educated parents. They were taught the value of a dollar and that dreams are achievable if you believe and act on them. My travel partner to Denver, on the other hand, was born into a disadvantaged family with poor adult role models. My companion was gangbanging at a young age and spent most of his teen and early adult years in youth camps and jail. When his daughter was born he resolved to change his life, and for the most part he has. He learned a trade and is quite skilled at what he does. He is the foreman of our best joint caulking and concrete polishing crew (I am part owner of a construction company that stains and polishes concrete floors).

This Isn’t Denny’s
While he has learned a skill (he is gifted with a keen eye), traveling with the poor guy is like traveling with a 10-year old. First he shows up at the airport with no cash…. at all. Then it’s “Can I have $1.25 for a coke?”, “Will you buy me a beer?”. I kept waiting for him to ask if I would buy him a souvenir shirt at the airport! Initially I was quite short with him. I even remember asking him if he thought I was his father. But it all kind of clicked with me when we went to a fairly nice dinner restaurant with a brewery (every restaurant in downtown Denver is attached to a brewery) and he tried to order a Bud Light (isn’t Coors the local commercial brew?) that the guy just did not know any better. Then when the bill came, before I could tuck my credit card into the folio with the bill, he asked (sincerely) if we weren’t supposed to take it up front to pay. My first thought was “This isn’t a Denny’s!”.

You Have to Change What You Do to Get Something New

What a contrast to traveling with my kids…even my 16 year old daughter knows how to pay the bill in a nice restaurant. I discovered I was living in a sociology experiment. In my friend’s life money was meant to be spent on things (trucks, bling, etc) that makes a person look outwardly successful, while they do not have two nickels to rub together. He showed up without any money, because his ex-wife (yet he hasn’t filed papers and he keeps drifting back to her) had cleaned him out.

His life revolves around a lack of abundance and he is completely incapable of figuring out how to break the cycle of poverty he was born into. While he intellectually knows things have to change, he still runs around with his hat on backwards (he really got pissed when I told him it looked ghetto), the long (below the knee long) shorts and all the trappings of a gangster. If I met him on the street at night, I would move to the other side. I told him that if he was serious about changing his circumstances he needed to make a clean break. That means quit hanging around with his “friends” (the same ones that couldn’t find the airport), completely cut ties with his ex-wife (she will continue to drag him back into the life), minimizing contact with his family and quit calling everyone “Bro”. He needed to quit hanging out with the element he was trying move away from and concentrate on educating himself on how to save money, pay down debts and learn that “things” do not define the person.

Surroundings Do Influence Behavior

Time will tell if my friend will in fact begin to make the changes we discussed. But one thing is abundantly clear…your background and living environment do in fact frame a person’s personality and behavior. The last 10 days really brought this into focus for me and has caused me to be a little more understanding when I encounter those who do not seem to have a clue.

Welcome to Simple Philosophy! This site is dedicated to presenting simple, straightforward information to help you improve the quality of your life and identify and define your dreams. In keeping with the theme of this site, please visit my about page to find out about me and my motivation for developing this site. The thing to remember is my vision for this site it to become an online community of persons that have realized there is more to life than just existing in a mundane day to day existence. Therefore, I encourage honest, vigorous comments on the content posted here. If you disagree with me, then let’s hear it. If you agree with me please respond; however, I ask that you share with the community your personal experience that causes you to feel this way. If everyone agrees with what I post, while it will make me feel omniscient and important, it will not improve others. I have found over the years, that everyone has something of value to share…that your personal experience may be the key that unlocks a mystery for someone else.

A quote from Benjamin Franklin has always resonated with me. Franklin once said, “A rut is merely a grave with the ends kicked out” (I may have paraphrased a bit). He also said, “Many men die at 25, but wait until they are 65 to be buried”. What Franklin is talking about are the habits we adopt of living in our comfort zones and being afraid to enter the unknown realms of change and living our dreams. There is always risk involved with living our lives in accordance with our dreams or in the manner that God has intended for us; however, settling for just “good enough” and “getting by” is the same as our spirit and souls dying young and existing in our physical shells until it just gives out from overuse or just plain boredom.

Personal Responsibility

A real hot button is the tendency for our current society to continually make excuses and not take personal responsibility for their actions. There is a common used axiom (usually spoken by those who should take heed) that states, “Excuses are like a**holes…everyone has one!”. How many times have you heard a child, co-worker, spouse, fill in the blank say, “It’s my fault, but….”? What comes after the “but” is the excuse (they would argue reason) why it really was not their fault. The person thinks they are taking responsibility; however, what they are really trying to do is shift the blame to someone else. In politics the Republicans are always blaming the Democrats for expensive social programs, and the Demos are always blaming the Republicans for the deficit. What everyone keeps forgetting is the current situation, whatever it is, is the end result of personal decisions that were consciously made by someone or a group of people.

Therefore, let us get something straight. Whatever your current situation, be it either good or bad, it is the result of an accumulation of prior decisions or lack thereof. Remember failing to act is a conscious action. In the case of inaction, a person is either unsure or afraid to act. So instead of potentially making a mistake, they opt to do nothing, in which case others make the decision for them. How many agree that other people will generally make decisions that will not be in your best interest? So a failure to act will result in a bad or undesirable circumstance.

In the popular book The Secretby Rhonda Byrne she states, “Your life right now is a reflection of your past thoughts.” When I read this it hit me like a ton of bricks! The implications are that whatever my financial, marital, work, etc. circumstances are I am responsible by virtue of my past thoughts and actions. It caused me to retreat to a Starbucks (to effectively look at your life, I believe you need to get away from your normal environment) with my journal and take an inventory of my life so far. Some things I liked and a lot was pretty disappointing. The important thing is to take ownership (another word for responsibility) of the things you do not like and fix it! While you cannot un-ring the bell, a person can take control of their thoughts and actions and move forward with intentional action.

Life must be lived intentionally! I will leave you with a word picture…a living vital salmon is always swimming upstream to spawn and perpetuate the species, and a dead fish will always be carried downstream by the current. If you hear yourself responding to the questions, “How’s it going?” with the answer, “Just going with flow!” STOP and ask yourself if you are going to live a vital, intentional life or just be a cold, dead fish. Whatever the answer, step up and take ownership and be responsible for the answer!